Nigeria Airways

This was a conversation that took place between a pilot and his passengers before take-off:
PILOT: Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this your captain Boniface welcoming you on board of Nigeria airways. we apologize for the four day delay before take off. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village (i.e crashing).
Nigeria airways has an excellent safety record , in fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us. it is with great pleasure; i announce that since starting this year, over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. if our engines are too noisy for you, on passengers request, we can arrange to turn them off!
For our not so religious  passengers, we ares the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a GOD. Kindly be seated and fasten your seat belt. for those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your belt to the arm of your chair. ENJOY NIGERIA AIRWAYS!!!!!

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